How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
