you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
