You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
