he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
