I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
