She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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