I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Rumble strips road head = magical
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
