saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
