Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
