using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
