Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
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