We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
