There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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