OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
