So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
