Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
