he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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