You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Randomize
