I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
They have beer where we have blood.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
