I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
