Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
