Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Fuck appropriateness.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
