literally had 100 drinks last night.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
