No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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