wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
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