i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Do you have feelings for this penis?
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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