To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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