I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You can't just leave with hair like that
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
