In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
