Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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