Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Farmville is her only friend.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
