do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
