Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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