Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
