And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
