After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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