I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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