She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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