Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
