Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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