I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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