So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
