I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
