my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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