Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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