planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
