i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
