You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
