spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Randomize
