We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I cockslap morals
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
