you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Randomize
