Why are handjobs necessary in class?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
