I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Randomize
