she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
