He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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