Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
