he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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