so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
