Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
