Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
