i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
